Snotlout Gives His Permission
by Threni
Summary: One day at the Edge Snotlout gives his permission for Hiccup and Astrid to date. Naturally, he does it in typical Snotlout-fashion and Hiccup reacts accordingly.
1. Chapter 1

**Snotlout Gives His Permission**

 **I Own Nothing—All Rights Reserved—Please Read and Review!**

Hiccup set down his hammer and looked up at his cousin. " _What_ did you just say?"

"I said you have my permission to be with Astrid," Snotlout replied smugly.

"I wasn't aware we needed it, but thank you."

Snotlout went on as if Hiccup had not spoken. "Look, you know Astrid and I were going strong until you killed the Red Death and took her away from me, right?"

"Oh gosh, Snotlout, I don't know how I didn't realize that. I am _so_ sorry. I mean, I'm sure a bat in a summer afternoon could have seen it, but I was so _blind_ ,"

"Yeah, I know. Well, I'm here to tell you there are no hard feelings, and you can keep her."

Hiccup picked up his hammer and started fiddling with it. "Oh I can, can I?"

"Yep. Will you tell her for me? I know it'll be hard for her to hear, but my heart has moved on to someone else. I'll understand if she's upset, but sometimes that's just the way things go,"

"I think Greek philosophers would have had an exhausting time studying _your_ mindset," Hiccup replied dryly. Snotlout had no idea what he was talking about so Hiccup dropped the subject. "So, you've found someone else, have you? Good for you. Does her name happen to start with an 'H' and rhyme with 'leather'?"

"Well...yes, as a matter of fact. How did you know?"

"Remember what I just said about a bat in a summer afternoon?"

"Well don't tell anyone, all right? I wanna keep it a secret for the moment; my fan girls would be heartbroken if they found out right now who the future Mrs. Lout was going to be! I've gotta prepare them for the shock first!"

Hiccup wondered if Snotlout had ever considered a career as a court jester. "And is 'the future Mrs. Lout' aware of whom she's engaged to?"

"Well, no, but there's nothing to worry about! She's practically already agreed! I can see it in her eyes. She adores me, Hiccup. She just hasn't told me yet."

"Then how do you explain why she prefers spending time with Fishlegs?"

"Obviously she's playing hard to get and trying to make me jealous!"

Hiccup nodded, trying very hard not to crack up. "Of course she is,"

"I know, right? But she's perfect for me! So you can have Astrid. I don't need her now. I mean, Heather and Astrid have got absolutely nothing in common! Heather's absolutely gorgeous, feisty, fearless, has beautiful hair and eyes, a wonderful body—" he did not notice Hiccup slowly put the small hammer down nor the dangerous glint in his eye, "she's got a cute face, a small nose, she's better at staying alive, she's incredibly hot and dangerous—"

Hiccup grabbed a mallet and swung it into Snotlout's stomach, picked him up, and threw him out the door. "Never insult Astrid in front of me, Snotface!"


	2. Chapter 2

As Hiccup went back to his project, one of Snotlout's comments comparing Heather to Astrid came back to him. "She's better at staying alive." He knew you usually had to take Snotlout's words with a grain of salt, but those words brought home to him the fact that Astrid had nearly died multiple times over the years. There had been the fight with the Flightmare, the time Snotlout had knocked her off Stormfly (he was still angry at Snotlout for that one), there were numerous fights with Outcasts and Hunters, and, perhaps most chillingly, the times she had almost drowned and contracted the Scourge of Odin. Dear Thor, how many times had she almost died?

True, they all had nearly died many times in the past. Heck, he probably had the highest tally of all of them, not that it was a contest. The risks were, to quote his father, an occupation hazard. They lived a certain way and had to take the bad with the good.

"We live at the Edge and live on the edge," Hiccup remarked to himself, smirking at his little joke.

Still, recalling all the times Astrid had almost died sent a chill through him. He had meant what he once said, about how he could not imagine a world without her in it. But those were just words. How much had he shown his feelings recently? Sure, they had hung out together all the time, had joked around, trained, gone flying, and all of that, but Hiccup did those with all of his friends. When, during the past few months, had he and Astrid done anything special? When, during the past few months, had he demonstrated that he saw her as more than just a friend? In fact, now he could hardly even see why Snotlout would have felt the need to give his permission for them to be together. They had hardly given any indication that they even _wanted_ to be together!

As soon as it was safe to do so, he put his work away and went to find her.


	3. Chapter 3

"This dummy isn't going to last much longer," Heather announced as she pulled a knife from a scarecrow strapped to a bulls-eye. The poor thing looked ready to fall apart at any moment.

"Well it's the best dummy we've got when Snotlout isn't around," Astrid replied as she tested her axe. She took aim and raised it. Then something out of the corner of her eye caught her attention and she whipped around, nearly throwing her axe into Hiccup's chest.

With deliberate calmness he looked down at the axe that was now mere centimeters from his heart. "Nice reflexes,"

Astrid quickly lowered the axe. "Sorry, Hiccup, but you should know better than to sneak up on me when I'm training!"

Hiccup sighed theatrically. "I search all over for you, with perfectly civilized intentions, and nearly lose my life when I find you. How's that for luck, Heather?"

"Very bad indeed," Heather laughed, "so what civilized intentions are we talking about here?"

Hiccup turned his attention back to Astrid. "Well, Astrid, I have a simple question for you. Would you be available to come to my hut for dinner tomorrow night?"

She had not been expecting such a question. "Would I—dinner with you tomorrow night? Well—dinner with you tomorrow—of course I would! But why tomorrow night in particular?" She did not know of anything that was going on tonight.

"I wanted to have it tonight, but I need a bit more time to get dinner ready," Hiccup said apologetically. "Will sunset tomorrow work for you?"

After a moment's thought Astrid nodded and smiled. "Yes. I'd like that very much,"

"All right then," Hiccup shifted his weight slightly, trying to think of what to say next. "I guess I'll leave you and Heather to destroying that poor scarecrow,"

"Soooooo…..dinner with Hiccup, eh?" Heather grinned as soon as he was gone.

Astrid tried to look casual and failed. "Yeah, so what? It's just a dinner,"

"Right," Her friend said with a knowing eyebrow raise.

"Seriously, it's just a dinner!" Astrid insisted. A dinner with the bravest, cleverest, and handsomest boy this side of Valhalla, she mentally added. She felt butterflies in her stomach.

"Hmm," Heather clearly did not believe her. "Well, all I can say is you two have taken long enough," she muttered under her breath.


	4. Chapter 4

Hiccup walked back to his hut with a certain spring in his step and a smile on his face. He had seldom seen such a lovely day and he had cheerful music playing in his head.

Then he spotted something out of the corner of his eye and turned to investigate. "Snotlout, what are you doing up on top of that Nightwatcher pole?" He called.

"Shush!" Snotlout said urgently, "Don't let him hear you!"

"Don't let who hear me? What are you talking ab—"

"AHA!" Fishlegs came hurdling over, an axe in his hand. "There you are! Outta the way, Hiccup, he's had this coming for a long time!"

"Hiccup, save me, he's gone nuts!" Snotlout squealed, clinging tightly to the post he was sitting on.

Hiccup grabbed Fishlegs and pulled the axe away from him. "Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is going on here?"

"I'll tell you what's going on here! He said Heather was going to marry him!"

"LIES!" Snotlout shrieked.

"And you believed him? Fish, you know better than to take him seriously!"

"There's more! He started describing what their wedding would be like! Hiccup, do you have any idea what thoughts fill that disgusting brain of his?"

Hiccup raised his free palm. "I'd rather not dwell on that,"

"I couldn't just sit around and let him talk about Heather like that!" Fishlegs cried, "Now give me back the axe so I can chop down that pole and break his nose!"

"AUGH! Don't do it, Hiccup!" Snotlout screamed. "Haven't I been hurt enough for one day?"

Hiccup held the axe out of reach. "He's right, Fish. Let it go. Violence isn't the answer."

"I'm not gonna kill him! I won't even seriously hurt him! I just wanna—"

"Fishlegs!" Hiccup said sternly.

Fishlegs looked about ready to obey him, so Snotlout decided he had won the day. Naturally he started celebrating his victory prematurely. "Yeah! You listen to Hiccup, Fishy! And do me a favor and tell that 'violence isn't the answer' to Astrid too, will ya? I mean, if that girl had a baby every time she hit me, she'd need her own island because Berk wouldn't have enough room for all of them! Ug!" he shuddered, "that would make her a Chief. Can you guys imagine a woman being in charge?"

Hiccup raised an eyebrow, which was seldom a good sign where Snotlout was concerned. "Right. As I was saying, violence isn't the answer under most circumstances. Fishlegs, you have my blessing," He handed his friend back the axe. "Try and knock some sense into that thick skull of his,"

"I'll try but I can't promise anything!" Fishlegs grinned.

"HEY, HEY, WHERE ARE YOU GOING? HICCUP, HE'S CUTTING DOWN THE POLE! SAVE ME! COME BACK HERE! I GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO BE WITH ASTRID, DOESN'T THAT COUNT FOR ANYTHING?"

"I don't need _your_ permission," Hiccup muttered under his breath.

"HEY, HEY, THE POLE IS TILTING! THERE'S WATER RIGHT BELOW ME! FISHLEGS, LET'S TALK THIS OVER—THE WOOD'S SPLITING! NOOOO!"

"Like I said, Snotface, never insult Astrid in front of me," Hiccup grinned to himself as he heard a loud 'SPLASH'! "He'll be alright. Now, I've got a dinner to plan and prepare! Toothless! If I find you've eaten all our stores again, there'll be no flying for a week!"


	5. Chapter 5

As it turned out, Toothless had eaten all the mutton in Hiccup's storage, but the Night Fury was acting so playful and wore the most adorable expression that he could not bring himself to ground his dragon for a week. Hiccup had a strong suspicion the dragon was perfectly aware how to get off the hook.

Still, he wanted mutton for the dinner that night and did not have any. So he decided to call on the Twins and see if he could acquire some.

He was used to being confused whenever the Twins were up to something, but this time he was really perplexed. "Hey Tuff,"

"Hey Hiccup!" the Thorsten male called as he polished a catapult.

"Would you mind telling me why Chicken is up in that tree?" He looked about in case someone was running around with an axe again.

"A fair question my good and noble sir! The fact is that you are looking at a most rare and curious of creatures: an ambitious chicken."

Hiccup decided to play along. "I am?"

"Yes! You see, Hiccup, a chicken is a bird, yes?"

"So I've been told."

"And birds are creatures of the air, yes?"

"Yes?"

"So how come chickens can't fly and build nests in trees like other birds do?"

"I…don't know. Inferior wing designs and body mass, perhaps?"

"Correct, my good and noble sir! Chicken has realized this and has decided she wants to be the one that changes it! A few generations from now, chickens will have evolved to soar through the clouds and build nests like other birds, all thanks to Chicken!"

"So Chicken's sitting on that tree branch because she's going to nest up there?"

"Correct, my good and noble sir! We're starting small. Later we'll move onto her learning to fly."

This would be interesting, if nothing else. But that did not satisfy all of Hiccup's curiosity. "So what's with the catapult and that mattress over there? And what's that noise?" he could hear a muffled shout coming from inside the Twin's hut.

Tuffnut smiled nervously and spoke quickly. "Oh, nothing important! Ruffnut probably tied herself to a chair again."

Hiccup's eyes narrowed. "All right, Tuffnut, what are you up to?"

"Well…err…"

"Tuffnut!" Hiccup said in a tone that would permit no delay or excuses.

"Well, we just figured Chicken would get lonely if she keeps sitting on that branch all day!"

Hiccup was horrified. "So you're going to catapult yourself up there to join her?"

"Of course not!" Tuffnut said reassuringly, "My good and noble sir, Ruffnut and I may be crazy, but we are not stupid!" At that moment Ruffnut emerged dragging a bound and gagged Snotlout with her. As soon as she saw Hiccup she squealed and rushed back inside. "Correction: _I_ may be crazy but not stupid, but my sister is another story."

Hiccup walked into their hut, hands on his hips. "So what have we here? Planning to put Snotlout in that catapult and launch him into that tree?"

Ruffnut looked away and started whistling. Snotlout groaned and struggled against his bonds.

Hiccup went over to his cousin, pulled out a knife, and started cutting him loose. "Guys, this is taking a joke too far."

"Awwww…" the Twins said together.

"I'm serious. You could get him killed!"

"That's rich, coming from someone who hit me with a hammer and let Fishy chop me into the ocean yesterday!" Snotlout yelled.

Hiccup raised his eyebrows. Snotlout paled. "But you're a very nice guy, Team Leader, and I'm very grateful you're saving me from these two!"

"That's better," Hiccup said as he pulled Snotlout to his feet. "Now then, Ruff, Tuff, I need some mutton."

"You prevent us from providing poor lonely Chicken with company and now you're making demands of us?" Ruffnut exclaimed, folding her arms. "Well we wouldn't give you any mutton if it ensured we'd go to Valhalla!"

"Not even if I promise not to punish you for what you were about to do to Snotlout?" Hiccup asked innocently.

They gave him the mutton.


	6. Chapter 6

Snotlout accompanied Hiccup along the walkway to Hiccup's hut.

"You know, we really need to get you to work on your manners." Hiccup remarked, "Most of what's happened to you yesterday and today was because you said the wrong things at the wrong times."

"Well how can I be nice when those two abduct me in the middle of the night intending to fire me into a tree?" Snotlout demanded.

"Fair point, but the things you said to Fishlegs—"

"He overreacted."

"Maybe, but the things you said to me about Astrid—"

"You overreacted."

Hiccup frowned. "Snotlout, I don't like hearing Astrid talked about in degrading terms, and I imagine Fishlegs feels the same way about Heather."

"You guys are just too sensitive!" Snotlout said dismissively.

"Maybe…but Snotlout, are you familiar with the phrase 'Hell hath no fury like a woman scorned'?"

"Yeah. Never understood what 'Hell' was, though. Why?"

"Because I think we're facing a scorned woman."

Heather had stepped out in front of them, seething with anger, her hands on her hips and a very scary glare on her face. The two men instantly froze in their tracks.

"Hello, Snotlout," she growled, "I was just talking with Fishlegs, and you know what he told me?"

"Um…a bunch of lies?" Snotlout suggested with a wimpy smile as he slid behind Hiccup.

"NO! HE TOLD ME YOU SAID WE WERE GOING TO BE MARRIED!" she roared.

"It was just a teeny tiny little exaggeration!" Snotlout squeaked. Hiccup groaned.

"EXAGGERATION! WHERE THE HECK DO YOU GET THESE DELUSIONS? I OUGHTA RIP YOU TO PIECES!"

"Hold it Heather!" Hiccup said loudly as Snotlout squealed. "I know you have every right to be angry, but I think Snotlout's suffered—"

"LESS THAN HE WILL BY THE TIME I'M DONE WITH HIM! OUT OF MY WAY, HICCUP!"

"I can't."

"WHY NOT?"

"Because Snotlout's grabbing my shoulders and won't let me move." It was true. Snotlout had decided his only hope was to use Hiccup as a shield between him and Heather, and that was just what he intended to do.

Heather moved to the left, but Snotlout forced Hiccup to move with her. She went to the right and the same thing happened. At first frustrated, she strangely and suddenly became calm.

"All right then," she said with a benign smile that fooled nobody. "Let him go, Snotlout. I promise I won't hurt you."

"Promise?"

"I promise."

"I don't think so! Hiccup stays with me until I make it back to my hut!"

"What am I, a hostage?" Hiccup exclaimed.

"Oh it's fine, Hiccup." Heather replied, "Oh, and Snotlout? There's a spider on your back."

"No there isn't! You're just trying to scare me, but I won't fall for it!" Snotlout grinned smugly.

"Keep telling yourself that. And while you're reassuring yourself, that big fat spider with its long hairy legs will creep down your shirt, walking along your bare skin, and inch by inch it will crawl over your back until it reaches your rear and, with its long, sharp, hairy, and poisonous pincers, it'll bite your exposed butt!"

Snotlout leapt into the air screaming.

Heather smiled. "We're even now."

Snotlout tried to recover his dignity. "That wasn't funny, you little—( **Excised by the Censors** )!"

Hiccup's eyebrows went up. "Whoa, Snotlout. I think my ears now need purifying."

"It's her fault! If she hadn't scared me I wouldn't have said such things!" Snotlout cried.

Hiccup sighed, shook his head, and walked away. Heather went with him.

"There's a spider on your shirt too!"

Hiccup chuckled. "Sorry Heather, but I'm not afraid of spiders."

"Oh. Soooo…dinner with Astrid tonight, huh?"

"Yep!"

"Are you gonna tell her?"

Hiccup went red. "Tell her what?" he tried to sound confused yet casual.

"Either you know exactly 'what' or you're as dense as Snotlout—and I don't think that lowly of you."

"Well then, Heather, I intend to have a good meal tonight with a close friend of mine, and whatever happens will happen." Hiccup replied firmly.

"Right…oh and there's a bee crawling on your back, by the way."

Hiccup paled. "Please don't!"

"A great big fuzzy bee that makes a loud buzzing—"

"STOP!"

Heather laughed so hard she doubled over. "Oof—I haven't laughed this much since you guys repainted Mildew's house!"

Hiccup smiled at the memory, though he still looked nervous from thinking about bees. "Yes, that was an impressive work of art. Oh, and there's a cockroach crawling in your hair."

Heather suddenly realized there _was_ something in her hair, and she screamed as her hands flew to her head. A leaf fell to the ground.

"Who put that—SNOTLOUT!"

While she ran after him, Hiccup darted away to his own hut before she figured out who had kept her distracted while Snotlout had sneaked up on her.

 **Author's Note: I was really taken off guard by how many views this story is getting. Thanks, everyone!**


	7. Chapter 7

The following evening Astrid made her way over to Hiccup's hut. Despite it being a short and easy walk for someone of her athletic ability, it took her longer than usual because she had spent some time cleaning her clothes and herself, and was reluctant to do anything that might mess up her appearance. Normally she would not care a button about any planks that needed to be nailed down better, but tonight she was terrified she might trip on one and end up completely disheveled.

"Of course," she tried to remind herself, "Hiccup's seen me looking worse plenty of times. He won't care if my hair gets messed up or my clothes get a little wrinkled." Nevertheless, she did not lower her caution. Hiccup might not care about those things, but she did, and that was enough for her.

She finally reached his hut and banged on the door. It was raised almost immediately by Hiccup.

"Whoa. That was quick."

"I heard you on the walkway." Hiccup said. What he did not say was he had been pacing around anxiously for nearly half an hour. He wished they had not arranged to meet at sunset, because that meant she could have come an hour earlier or an hour later and still be technically on time. "Come on in. Toothless is—"

Toothless _was_ eagerly sniffing the food Hiccup had made, but now that he saw Astrid he excitedly bounded towards her like a giant dog, knocking a chair over in the process. He leapt into the air and landed squarely in front of Astrid, mere inches away and ready to give her a great big sloppy lick on the face.

"Toothless!" Hiccup said sternly but not too urgently. The Night Fury suddenly caught himself and quickly backed away, an apologetic look in his eyes. Hiccup went over and put his hands on either side of the dragon's face. "Bud, I'm sure Astrid is just as happy to see you as you are to see her, but no licking, remember? You know that stuff doesn't wash out."

Toothless warbled, nuzzled him in the head and knocked him over, went over and nuzzled Astrid in the stomach, and raced out the door.

"It's never dull when he's around," Hiccup remarked from the floor. Astrid helped him up.

"Is he going to be present tonight? Say, is he going to be serving us dinner?" She grinned at the image of Toothless bringing them trays of drinks.

"Nah, I told him Stormfly would be lonely tonight, so he's probably gone to play with her," Hiccup said as he pulled the door down and went over to straighten up the furniture Toothless had upset.

"I forget your door doesn't open like anyone else's," Astrid remarked.

"I like it better that way," He replied with a smile, "shall we go upstairs?"

She had seldom seen the upper part of Hiccup's room. What she saw now was a large table with a cloth set on it, two chairs on either side of it, plates, goblets and cutlery on the top, and a few lit candles. Over in one corner were his bed and a large stone slab, which she knew was what Toothless slept on. The walls were covered with so many sketches and schematics she could hardly see the wood planks they were pinned to. Over in another corner by the bed were numerous bits of metal and gears, evidently an unfinished project. Also by the bed was a game board for Maces and Talons. She shook her head when she saw this.

"Hiccup, you know it doesn't do any good to obsess over Viggo."

"I'm just refreshing myself with the game," he said quickly. He pulled out a chair and she sat down. He sat down as well. Astrid looked around in confusion. There was nothing edible on the table.

"So…what's for dinner?"

He grinned and pulled a lever on the wall. There was a rattling of chains being pulled and part of the wall fell forward, revealing behind it a small closet. In this closet was a large crate on wheels. On top of the crate was a tray, and laid upon the tray were legs of mutton, vegetables, a container of sauce, and some apples. Hiccup pulled the lever further and the crate wheeled its way towards them. He grinned even wider at her amazed expression. "The platform is at a slight angle, making a ramp, and the crate is connected to one of the lifting chains. When I pull this lever the connection is released and the tray rolls down the ramp."

"Very nice. But if you're trying to impress me, you really don't have to. You've already done it enough in the past."

"I have?"

"You have,"

"In good ways?"

Astrid nearly laughed. "Mostly,"

"Well that's good, I suppose."

Astrid played with a spoon. "Do I ever impress you?" she hoped she did not sound inquisitive, but she was very anxious to hear his answer.

Hiccup snorted. "Ever since the day I realized girls were attractive and not germ-ridden creatures to avoid at all costs." Boy did that come out wrong.

"Who told you we were?" She asked dangerously.

"Snotlout."

"Why am I not surprised? And you believed him?"

"Hey, we were 4 years old! I was very gullible in those days."

"Yes you were." Astrid chuckled, "I remember you telling us about trolls and imps and goblins and all those little pests that Gobber believes in, which lie in wait under our floorboards until night and then emerge to play tricks on us!"

"The Twins must be related to them."

"You never did answer my question," she went on, "Do I ever impress you?"

"All the time and I'm not exaggerating," he replied, "Now, would you like some sauce on your mutton?"


	8. Chapter 8

"You know," Astrid remarked, "I've never understood where you learned to cook so well."

"Believe it or not, my Dad's a pretty good cook, when he has the time to be. He had to learn a long time ago because my mother was a rotten cook—so he told me anyway." Hiccup added. "He started teaching me the ropes after I lost my leg."

"Well," Astrid dabbed her mouth with her napkin, "I'd say he's taught you well. This tastes really good."

Hiccup shrugged, as if it was nothing significant.

"I never really learned myself," she went on, "I was always too busy training."

"Up at dawn running around the village, climbing over boulders, throwing axes into trees at midday, then more running, wrestling with anyone brave or foolish enough to volunteer, throwing Snotlout into a wall half a dozen times before dinner, then working out the most efficient way to carry a bucket of water to each house and going for another run if the moon was bright enough." Hiccup smiled, "I used to wonder when you actually found time to sleep."

"You know me. I'm tireless."

"Yes you are." He shook his head. "I don't know where I'd be without you, Astrid. I'd never have survived without your support during those early days of living with dragons. And now, when we're out here in the middle of nowhere and leagues away from any help—" he paused and fiddled with his goblet, "well—thanks, Astrid. None of us would be where we are now if it wasn't for you."

Astrid looked down at her lap, her face burning with embarrassment. "We wouldn't have gotten where we are without you either, you know."

"Meh," Hiccup said dismissively.

"It's true! You met Toothless and spared him, remember? I certainly would never have done that if it had been me!"

"You don't know that." She looked ready to counter so he quickly said, "All right, I started a movement—but I couldn't control it without your help."

Astrid might have wanted to argue more, but instead she shrugged her shoulders. "It's a moot point anyway. It happened and we're all the better for it. We can agree on that, right?"

"Well let's see…between me still being a useless fishbone with no friends and me being successful and having the best friends I could ever want and lots of fun adventures, I'd be an idiot if I didn't prefer the latter,"

"You were _never_ a useless fishbone," Astrid said flatly. "We were just too stupid to realize your usefulness."

" _You_ were never stupid."

"Oh yes I was. I cared more about getting a stupid 'first prize' than actual happiness. I cared more about praise than friendship. I wanted perfection from everything and ended up alienating everybody close to me for years. Hiccup, do you have any idea how unlikely anything we're doing these days would be if you hadn't spared Toothless?"

He thought a moment. "Pretty unlikely, I imagine,"

"Darn right. You know one thing you've taught me? I realized this when I was watching you in the forge one day. You can sharpen a blade as close to perfection as possible, but if you keep sharpening it, it'll grow weak and snap."

"Happy to be of assistance,"

"You've helped me in a lot of ways. Maybe you just don't know it—or maybe you do but prefer not to acknowledge it," she looked at him suspiciously, because he did not look convinced. "Hiccup, you _know_ you're not useless, right? You don't believe any of those insults people threw at you when you were younger, do you?"

"I certainly never _wanted_ to, but when you've heard them so many times you start to wonder if there's an element of truth to them." Hiccup said bitterly.

"Well there isn't," she said firmly.

He cocked his head to one side. "You really think so?"

"I don't think it, I know it."

He smiled warmly and put a hand on hers. "See? This just goes to prove my earlier statement is correct: I'd be a mess without your support, Astrid. Thanks."

She raised her glass as if toasting him. "And I'd be a self-absorbed and cruel perfectionist without your support. So I guess we both need each other."

"Yeah, I'd say we do."

They fell silent for a while as they went back to eating.

"Why didn't we spend time like this before?" Astrid suddenly asked. "I can't recall a single time when we had dinner with just the two of us. We should do this more often!"

"I wouldn't mind that,"

"Of course it wouldn't be fair if you made all the meals—"

"Well I could teach you some cooking skills if you'd like. You know, when we get the time. I could stop by your hut tomorrow if you'd like."

"That's another thing: you never come by my hut anymore. Why is that?"

Hiccup was taken aback. "I don't?"

"You don't."

He had trouble thinking of an answer.

"It's not because you're always obsessing over how to defeat Viggo, is it?"

"No," Hiccup said firmly, "and I don't call it 'obsessing'." She looked at him skeptically. "All right, maybe it is a _little_ , but all the same, Astrid, there's a man out there who wants us dead or ruined, or both. He's not going to stop just because we don't think about him. Sooner or later it's gonna come to blows, and I want to be sure we're ready for him, that's all. And I have some control over this, by the way: I do my utmost to not think about Viggo unless I'm alone. I guess the reason I don't stop by anymore is because—well—we see each other so much all day long, I figured you'd get tired of seeing me. I see our huts are our personal space, and to keep spending time at yours would violate your privacy. That's how I see it, anyway."

"I wish we'd sorted this out sooner, because that's not how I see it. But whatever your reasons, I wouldn't mind if you came by more often."

"All right," Hiccup nodded and gestured to her empty plate. "Are you finished?" She nodded and he started clearing away the plates. She stood up to help.

"I can handle this, Astrid. You're my guest."

"I'm also your friend. Friends help each other out."

"With dishes? I wasn't even going to wash them until you left."

Astrid added a plate to the pile. "I'll dry. And if you think of opposing me I'll swat you with the towel."

Hiccup gave in, but they first had to wait for the water to boil. So they sat on his bed and she looked at some of his sketches.

"How come there aren't any of you in here?"

Hiccup laughed. "I know what you're thinking, and it's not because I have such a low opinion of myself! It's just hard to draw myself when I have nothing for reference. I broke my looking glass when a contraption went wrong a while back, and I keep forgetting to get a new one." He held up a fragment of glass on the mantelpiece. "It works for keeping my face clean, but it's inadequate for sketching."

"When did this happen?"

"About 3 weeks after we settled here," he admitted.

Astrid shook her head. "Of course." She flipped to another page. "What's this?"

"Oh, just a little poem I wrote." Hiccup said, trying to make it sound insignificant so she would not think anything more of it.

His hope failed. "I didn't know you write poetry."

"I don't really…it's just something new I've been trying,"

She read:

"'When you're next to the one you're in love with

There's nothing in the wide world that seems wrong

When you put an arm around their shoulders

It's like that's where it should always belong

Your heart prays that these days never vanish

They almost feel like a made-up myth

You can't quite believe right at this moment

You are next to the one you're in love with'

"Hiccup, just out of curiosity, what inspired this?" Astrid asked uncertainly.

But the water started boiling and they had to attend to it. The journal was put aside and they went to work washing the dishes.

Astrid had noticed Hiccup had deliberately not answered her question, and holding a towel made her feel mischievous. So right before he picked up a plate she flicked the towel at his leg. He jumped.

"Oh, sorry, did I do that?" Astrid asked innocently. Hiccup responded by splashing water at her.

"Hey!"

"Oh I'm sorry, I swear, the water just wanted to jump out of the pan and be free."

She swatted him again. So he grabbed another towel.

"I'm armed and dangerous, Hofferson,"

"So am I!"

"Shall this be a duel? On the count of three?"

"Certainly,"

They counted to three and swatted each other. Hiccup got her in the stomach, and Astrid got him in the leg. Both of them immediately doubled over, first because of the sudden pain, and then because they were laughing too hard.


	9. Chapter 9

"I'm going to be bruised for a week,"

Astrid punched him in the shoulder. "I didn't swat you _that_ hard!"

He grinned and groaned in an exaggerated fashion. "You don't know your own strength, Milady."

She punched him in the shoulder again. He did not even wince.

"See? That didn't hurt, did it?"

"Obviously my shoulder's built up a tolerance for your punches over the years,"

She laughed. "Should I try the other side?"

She looked so beautiful when she was laughing, so beautiful he suddenly felt the urge to kiss her. He fought to push this feeling aside. The time was not right for that. He had had a fun and pleasant dinner with her and did not want to push his luck too far for one night. This had been a night for two very good friends to get 'reacquainted', if you will. Romance would wait until the next time, he decided, assuming that was what she wanted. He did not want to rush anything, in case he moved prematurely and ruined the relationship they already had.

Astrid waved a hand in front of his face. "Hiccup?"

"Hmm? Oh sorry. I was thinking."

"I could tell. What about?"

"The future," he said vaguely, "just wondering what tomorrow will bring,"

"Don't worry about it. We'll find out tomorrow."

"I'm not _worried_ , just curious."

"Well again, we'll find out tomorrow."

He nodded and put a hand on her shoulder. "I suppose we will." She suddenly became aware of how close he was standing next to her, and her heart rate picked up.

"Yes we will…" she said softly.

Hiccup felt the urge again and almost gave into it. But he reminded himself about what he had just decided on, and slowly turned to look out the window. "I suppose it's getting a bit late."

She looked surprised and a bit disappointed. "Oh! Well…err…well, I suppose it is. And we've got a lot to do tomorrow, yes?"

"Yes,"

"Yes. So...is this goodnight?"

"I suppose so…"

They shuffled their way to the door, but then Astrid stalled. "Hiccup, if you don't mind me asking, what prompted you to ask me to dinner in the first place?"

He looked a bit nervous. "I suddenly realized I wanted to spend some more time with you,"

"I know that, but what made you suddenly realize this?" she pressed.

"Oh. Well…believe it or not, it was Snotlout."

Astrid's expression turned dangerous. "Oh?"

"Yeah, he said some things about you which got me thinking."

"What did he say?"

He whispered a few words in her ear.

"Oh-ho-ho! He said that, did he?" She casually retrieved her discarded towel, "May I borrow this for the night?"

Hiccup winced. "Sure. So, I'll be seeing you tomorrow then?"

"Of course you will!" she laughed. "I'm not going anywhere!"

"Neither am I. Goodnight, Astrid."

"Goodnight." With that she walked away. Once she was certain she could not be seen or heard by anyone she stomped on a plank. "So close! So close! What's it going to take for him to—? All right all right, calm down Astrid. He asked you to dinner and it went well. It's a start. He's promised to come over now. Maybe next time…"

Hiccup stood in the doorway, looking at the stars and listening to the sounds of night.

"5…4…3…2…1…and…"

He heard a loud shriek from Snotlout's hut.

"…and like a bolt of lightning the fierce and beautiful Astrid Hofferson strikes," he said proudly. At that moment Toothless charged right into him, knocked him to the floor, and began licking him. "And so does Toothless."


	10. Chapter 10

The following night everyone was having dinner in the Clubhouse. Hiccup made sure to sit next to Astrid, who did not mind in the slightest. Snotlout had numerous red blotches on his arms and was keeping his distance from everybody.

"Hiccup, I was thinking," Fishlegs said as they started passing around the food and drinks, "You remember that Triple Stryke we rescued? Don't you think it's about time to start training it for real?"

"We'll get started tomorrow." Hiccup promised.

"You think we can actually do it?" Astrid asked, "It didn't work the last time we tried,"

"We'll find a way," Hiccup assured her, "We always do, don't we?"

She smiled and Hiccup nearly dropped the dish of potatoes. "Yes we do,"

Snotlout raised his mug. "A Toast to a successful training!"

"To a successful training!" everyone else repeated. They drank and then spat their drinks out, coughing and gagging. Everyone except Heather and Snotlout that is. Snotlout looked thrilled, Heather looked confused.

"Pepper!" Fishlegs rasped. "Who put pepper in the drinks?"

"VENGENCE IS MINE!" Snotlout cried, standing tall, "And Heather, notice I didn't put any in your drink? I wanted to show the Future Mrs. 'Lout that I can be caring and considerate and not harbor a grudge against her and—" that was when he realized there were six angry people looking at him. "Oh dear…"

"Sic him, gang!"

"You'll have to catch me first!" He bolted from the room, the other Riders and their dragons hard on his heels.

"Does that mean we have your permission to prank you to a pulp when we catch you?" Hiccup called after him. Snotlout did not answer. He just kept running, thinking to lose them in the woods. Then he fell into the Twin's boar pit.

"Darn those two!" he shouted as he gingerly tried to pick himself up. He took two paces and stepped in a snare, which hoisted him feet first into a tree.

"THOSE DIRTY NO GOOD ( **Excised by the Censors** )!" he shouted. It was only a matter of time now before they caught him. He would just have to come up with a subtler retaliation next time. He looked about and saw Chicken sitting on the branch he was hanging from, peering down at him innocently. "I tell you Chicken, I am _never_ giving anyone my permission again!"

 **The End**

 **I Own Nothing**

 **All Rights Reserved**

 **A Big 'Thank You' to everyone for reading and reviewing this!**

 **We Wish It Known That No One Was Seriously Hurt In the Making of This Story, Although Snotlout Jorgenson Has Recently Invested In a Life Insurance Policy**


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